Dear Sewfie,
I own all the ‘right tools’ and have a fantastic Bernina machine- I’ve made some very simple yet beautiful quilts and love the end results- yet I am so stressed when I work on these projects. Why am I so scared to sew? I mean, I CAN do it- yet as much as I try to enjoy it- I’m so relieved when it’s over. Does everyone do this? How do I get over my anxiety and start enjoying this like I know I should???? Help me Sewfie!!

P.S. A side note to my question…. when I DO sew… my family knows how stressed I get- they actually stay away from me, sad- huh? It’s crazy- ’cause I REALLY DO ENJOY IT!

-Sue

Dear Sue,

First off….. take a deep breath! You have come to the right place, Sewfie can help you. She is a bit of a Type-A tomato herself, so she knows exactly what you are going through. What you are experiencing is called “fear of failure”, also known as “perfectionism”. You love sewing (perhaps you are even obsessed with it) and you want to do a good job – as evidenced by your investment in all the ‘right tools” and the fancy Bernina machine. But you are so concerned about doing a really great job and getting perfect results, that you can’t enjoy the process. You are afraid you will make a mistake, it won’t turn out just as you had envisioned, it will be “not perfect” in some way. Your focus on the end results is ruining the fun of the process. What you need to do is focus less on the end results, and more on the process, accepting that even if it doesn’t turn out perfect, it doesn’t have to be and you can still have fun. Here are some practical tips on how to reduce the stress of your quilting projects:

• Buy cheap fabric. By “cheap” I mean inexpensive, not low quality. Shop the discount fabric shops or the bargain blots at your LQS (Local Quilt Shop). This way, with less financial commitment, you will feel less anxiety about cutting into an expensive piece of fabric.
• “Little victories”. Build up your confidence by investing your time and talents in some small, easy to finish projects like table runners or placements. By building up a series of successes under your belt, you can later tackle that heirloom king sized quilt with greater confidence and less stress. And in the mean time, you’ll have tons of cute placemats you can give away as gifts! Sewfie’s favorite source for cute little projects is Pieced Tree Patterns. They have these adorable small, laminated pattern cards called Tiny Ones. They are no bigger than an index card and their tag line is (no kidding) “Easy to Piece, Easy to Enjoy!”. They cost only $3 and they make the cutest projects. Sewfie keeps a stack of these cards on her sewing desk for times when she needs a quick fix of something fun and rewarding.
  

  Pieced Tree Patterns 'Tiny Ones' pattern cards - 53 cute little designs

• Don’t sew after 10pm. Nothing good ever happens to a sewing project late at night. You’re tired, you will make mistakes, crabbiness will ensue.
• One stitch at a time. Don’t feel like you have to plow through a project all in one sitting and don’t set a deadline on when you “have to” get something done. Set mini-goals, such as, I’ll work on this until Block X is done, then I’ll take a break. When you’ve reached a mini goal, walk away, have a coffee break, etc. and revel in your progress. Learn to be happy with achieving the little goals along the way so you won’t have to derive all of your satisfaction from the completed project alone.
• Don’t point out your mistakes. Every sewing project has some mistakes in it and the rest of the world need not know about them. I bet you are the type if someone was admiring your finished work, you’d dismiss their compliments and starting pointing out all the boo-boos…. don’t do that. No one else cares if the binding is crooked or you had to piece the blue fabric because you ran out after cutting it the wrong way.
• Sew for charity. If you are sewing for someone else – someone who needs what you are making – then little mistakes and getting it “perfect” will take a back seat to the comfort you are bringing to others.
• Finally, as for your family that fears the wrath of your sewing projects, if you try Sewfie’s tips, they are sure to notice a significant reduction in your anxiety right away. If you really want to show them that a Quilting Mom is a Fun Mom, then make things for them! They’ll be happy to see you sewing if they know they are getting a colorful pillow or a cuddly lap quilt out of it!

Hey Sewfie,
How old do you think a child should be before they learn how to sew? Should they learn hand sewing first, then learn how to use the machine later?

Thanks!
D

In theory, it makes sense to learn to hand sew before learning how to use the machine… if one is a true sewing purist. However, Sewfie thinks that notion is rather outdated – especially in this age of computers, cell phones and all kinds of complicated widgets that even toddlers know how to operate. Many kids can type their names on the computer before they can write their names on paper, so by that analogy, why not set aside Grandma’s sewing basket and put the (sewing machine) pedal to the metal! Children as young as 5 can easily operate a sewing machine, with supervision from an adult and some basic instructions and safety tips. Learning to sew on the machine has the added advantage of enabling the young sewist to get good results quickly. Their impatient little fingers can crank out a tote bag, a pillow, a bean bag or even simple stuffed animal in less time than it would take them to stitch a single hand sewn seam. Greater satisfaction derived from quicker results will encourage your little seamstress/seamster to keep sewing!

Here are some tips for getting your little one started on the sewing machine:

• Is my child ready? In Sewfie’s opinion, if your child has the dexterity to cut a piece of fabric with scissors, then she is ready to sew!
• Do not teach a child to sew on a “child’s” sewing machine – Any plastic widget you buy in a toy catalog, toy store, etc. or anything that has the word “child” in the model name is NOT a REAL sewing machine. It won’t work well, it will break, and it will most certainly make a huge tangled mess of the thread 99% of the time. Your child will be instantly frustrated and your sewing lessons will end quicker than they began. If you are too afraid to let your child use your $2000 Bernina, buy an entry-level sewing machine, but get a GOOD one. Sewfie’s Tip: The best thing going out there right now is the ThreadBanger TB12 by Janome. It is basically a re-issue of their very popular Travel-Mate, updated with cool graphics and co-branded with the popular D.I.Y. site ThreadBanger.com. Hip looks aside, this is one awesome machine. It’s cast aluminum (you just don’t see that anymore, it warmed Sewfie’s heart… as she sews exclusively on a Singer 301A, circa 1953), has twelve basics stitches, a 4-step button hole, push-button reverse and a built in thread cutter…. All you really need in a sewing machine! Described in many reviews as a “workhorse” (i.e. it can take a beating), it zips easily through all kinds of fabrics, including denims and fleece. Its very forgivng, doesn’t tangle the bobbin thread – even for the most egregious “user errors”, and its trim design gives you a spacious, open workspace. It retails for $299 but many places sell it for $199.


Janome TB12

• Setting up the machine – It will be a long time before the child can set up the sewing machine herself, so for now, Mom should set up the machine with some neutral colored thread. Kids won’t care if it doesn’t exactly match. Sewfie herself was sewing for at least two years before she realized that thread came in other colors besides white.
• Practice on paper first – Just like in your old Home EC class (you remember that, don’t you?), draw some straight and some curvy lines on a piece of paper. Have your child take a few “practice drives” on the paper – without thread. The needle will poke holes in the paper so you can see here you’ve been. Show her/him how to stay on the lines. This exercise helps to coordinate one’s hands in moving the “fabric” through the machine and also helps to get a feel for how the foot pedal makes the machine go faster or slower. When s/he can mostly stay on the lines, it’s time to move up to fabric! BTW, you’d be amazed at how quickly this video-game savvy generation can master the paper practice drive… don’t be surprised when it takes just a few runs!
• If it feels stuck – ask for help! A simple rule of thumb to keep harm from coming to mom’s sewing machine is: if it feels stuck or is making a funny noise, something is wrong and you should ask for help.
• Safety – There is almost no way to hurt yourself on a sewing machine unless you are just determined. You really have to go out of your way to run over your finger. Never the less, the “paper practice drive” mentioned above will help teach little hands where they need to be to keep away from moving parts. Loose hair should be in a pony tail and baggy sleeves should be secured.
• Felt is an awesome first fabric – You can make a lot of really fun things from felt: bean bags, cases for pencils/iPods/phones, bags of all kinds, flags/banners, wallets, bracelets, pillows, stuffed animals… the possibilities are endless. It comes in lots of colors and it has the added advantages of being very easy to cut, it won’t fray and you don’t have to finish any of the edges.
• Keep a stash box – Give your child a box of fabric for her own “stash”. This way, whenever the creative urge strikes, she can start chopping up her own fabric instead of that $18/yd. Etsuko Furuya you’d been saving for your “someday” purse.
• Don’t be a Martha – Who says you have to sew by the rules? A simple, unfinished strip of quilting cotton makes a fine purse strap! You, as your child’s sewing instructor, must resist the urge to show him or her how to “do everything right”. Just let the child be creative: if she slaps two pieces of fabric together with a wobbly seam and calls it a gown, well then, it’s a gown! With more time and practice, you can teach her additional skills when she shows interest, but for now, just get started creating and having fun!

Dear Sewfie,
I’m just sewing your Grab ‘n’ Go Diaper clutch, & wondered how you were able to line up the diagonal lines so well on the main picture of the pattern cover? Is it difficult to do?
- Julia

How to line up your stripes or other design perfectly on your Grab 'n' Go Diaper Clutch.... read on!

Dear Julia,
The key to success in lining up the diagonal stripes (or any design) so well is to line up where the magnetic snap goes FIRST and THEN cut the fabric out… but how do you do THAT? Well, it’s REALLY easy. Here’s what you do:

• Cut out the Flap piece first. Don’t cut out the Body (yet). Cut out your Flap such that you have your stripes in a nice place. In my case (for the cover model), I wanted a red stripe right near the edge. I just thought it looked cool and I knew I had this awesome red vintage button that I wanted to use.
• Next, transfer the snap placement mark from the pattern onto the Flap. You can mark it with a pin or some chalk. I like to use pins because they are very precise.


Cut out Flap (1) and mark snap placement

• Next comes the part where we line up the Flap with the Body. Remember we didn’t cut the Body part out yet. Lay the rest of your (uncut) fabric out on the table. It helps to iron it so it lays nice and flat. Find some area of the fabric which matches up with the Flap, and lay the Flap exactly over that area. You might want to hold it down with a pin or two so it doesn’t wiggle around in the next step.


Line up Flap (1) with fabric underneath, matching stripes or design

• Finally, position Body pattern piece (2) under Flap (1). Line up the snap placement marks from the Body and the Flap. Ensure the straight edges are parallel. Now you can move the Flap out of the way and cut out Body (2).


Position Body pattern piece (2) under Flap (1)

Your stripes or other design will now be perfectly aligned!

Dear Sewfie,
I like to sew, but I am having trouble basting. It takes longer than I think it should. Should I skip it or do you have any tips?
Thanks!

-Izzi

Dear Izzi,
If the pattern is recommending it, you definitely shouldn’t skip it. Basting is usually recommended for seams that are long (such as a skirt hem) or for areas that are too complicated or bulky to easily use pins (such as the bottom seam of our Grab ‘n’ Go Diaper Clutch, see photo below). Also, basting is often called for because it is easier to stitch over with your sewing machine than pins.

Here are Sewfie’s tips for making basting less painful:

• Use long stitches. Basting doesn’t have to be tiny and accurate like your hand sewing stitches. For basting, use a big, long running stitch. ½” stitches (or longer) are perfectly OK and help to get the job done faster.
• Baste slightly inside your seam allowance. For example if you have a 5/8” seam allowance for a garment, baste at ½” from the edge of your fabric. This way, after you machine stitch your seam, you won’t even see the basting stitches and you won’t have to take them out! Not having to pick out all those stitches later will save you some time.
• Lay your work on a flat surface like a table or a floor (not your lap). Make several stitches at a time with your needle (see photo below) and then pull the thread through. Its like getting two stitches for the price of one! This will make it go faster, too.



• Finally, instead of using a single strand of thread like many sewing instructions recommend, use a double strand of thread, knotted at the end. This will keep your needle from falling off the thread all the time, which is what always happens to me. Not having to re-thread your needle 10 times will save you time as well.

In the end, basting seems like a hassle but it really does help you get good results the first time. And after all the hard work you put into your wonderful handmade creation, isn’t it worth it?

Basting takes extra time...

... but it helps you get great results!

Dear Sewfie,
I’m an avid quilter and I’d love to make something for my boyfriend but my friend warned me about the “Boyfriend Curse”…. if you sew something for a guy he’ll break up with you. Is that true?

Ah, yes, “The Boyfriend Curse”. Actually, this storied curse applies to knitting. The curse purports that if you knit a sweater for a guy, he’ll break up with you. As it turns out, there is even a book about it called “Never Knit Your Man a Sweater (Unless You’ve Got the Ring)” by Judith Durant, see here:

It suggests a variety of knitting projects for men where the level of complexity is proportional to the level of commitment, i.e. a set of coasters of the guy you just started seeing, a scarf once you’ve been dating a bit… you get the idea. The sweater doesn’t come until you’ve got some bling in your top drawer.

But, back to your question, can you sew for a guy without him breaking up with you? This has not been studied as extensively as the Sweater Curse, which has some real science behind it… a poll conducted by the online magazine Knitter’s Review indicated that 15% of active knitters say they have experienced the Sweater Curse firsthand and a whopping 41% consider it a serious enough threat that they’re not going to mess with it.

Sewfie’s suggestion is to not take any chances. If you really must sew for your man, start out with something simple, like a shoe bag. And see how it goes. Work your way up to a pillow and maybe eventually some fun boxer shorts or pajama pants if you are feeling really playful. Don’t even go near something like a quilt until you’ve been married for at least 10 years.

Dear Sewfie,

I wanted to have the perfect Handmade Christmas this year, but the problem is, I didn’t finish all of the gifts I had planned. Now that the holidays are over, should I finish sewing the gifts anyway and give them to people late or just give up and try to make good next year? I feel bad about not giving some people their gifts. What should I do?

-Unfinished

Dear Unfinished,

Let’s face it: you nobly (and perhaps all too ambitiously) tried to have the Best Most Crafty Handmade Christmas EVER – but you fell upon your proverbial rotary cutters. The best thing you can do at this point is give a Dunkin Donuts gift certificate to the people on your list whose gifts are still all over your sewing room floor and finish those gifts next fall… after the kidlets go back to school and before you get distracted with making Halloween costumes. You will already be ahead of the game because all the pieces are already cut out, right?

You could try to plow ahead anyway and finish your gifts now under the auspices of “better late than never”, but you’ve already lost the moment (Christmas is officially over… the curbs are already littered with discarded trees!) and the time you spend will just get you further and further behind in all your other projects that you were going to finish “as soon as Christmas is over”, remember? Projects such as: curtains for the Baby’s room… he is more than a year old now, you know!

Warm Stitches,

Amy Butler's Frenchy Bag was Sewfie

The final gift Sewfie finished this holiday season - the Sweet Slice pincushion by designer Cindy Taylor Oates with Kaffe Fassett and Philip Jacob fabrics... for a very special Christmas Birthday Girl!

Dear Sewfie,
Why are so many pin cushions shaped like tomatos?
- Kat

Dear Kat,
In many Renaissance households, people believed that placing a ripe tomato on the mantel when first entering a new home guaranteed future prosperity. Since tomatoes were not available year-round until recently, families moving into new homes often substituted round balls of red fabric stuffed with sawdust or sand. As the traditional held, these little red balls made a nice parking place for metal pins which were very expensive at the time and thus worthy of protecting. The tomato pin cushion is still in use today and has become iconic of the entire sewing community.

The tomato pin cushion motif has made its way into many fabric designs, such as this Alexander Henry print - Sew Now, Sew Wow!

Now THAT'S dedication to your craft...

Dear Sewfie,
Can you show me an easy way to make a fabric cube? I want to make some soft fabric blocks for my son.
- Marcia

Dear Marcia,
You can make cute fabric baby blocks from a foam cube and six fabric squares. We used 4″ foam and an adorable fabric panel called “Baby Geniuses Grown Up!” by Linda Carlson & Diana Henage from Benartex.

You can make these cute fabric baby blocks!

One 5/8 yard panel has 30 colorful squares (enough to make 5 blocks) featuring letters of the alphabet and adorable cartoon animals. You could also use the 3″ number squares to make smaller number blocks.

Baby Geniuses Grow Up! 5/8 yard panel

You can use any size foam, simply cut your fabric squares 1/2″ wider than your foam. You can cut your foam block to shape using any sharp kitchen knife.

Materials: 4" foam cube and six 4.5" fabric squares

Note: To make nice square corners, do not stitch all the way to the edge of the fabric. Be sure to start and stop stitching 1/4″ from all edges.

Sew in 1/4" seam allowances

Sew six squares into cross shape

So far... so good!

Fold the bottom square on a diagonal angle, then sew the side seam (where scissors are pointing). Repeat for each of the four side seams

Now you have a box with a flap top

Sew two sides of the top flap, leave one side open

Turn right side out and square corners gently with chopstick

Squeeze foam cube through opening

Stitch opening shut

Finished!

Baby approves!

For more baby toy fun, see our Brainy Baby Ball pattern!